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Page of That_Damn_Duck's best tweets

@That_Damn_Duck : My psychiatrist and I had a major breakthrough.

Now he can hear the voices too.

@That_Damn_Duck: Look, I’m not saying it’s you, all I’m saying is that it’s definitely not me.

@That_Damn_Duck: One last time...

It’s ‘a lot’ not ‘alot'!

It’s that simple.

Tomorrow we’ll cover thermonuclear fusion & the works of Voltaire.

@That_Damn_Duck: I think sex is probably the best stress reliever, but I haven’t beaten anyone with a baseball bat before, so I can’t be 100% sure.

@That_Damn_Duck: Some of you should not be allowed to procreate and if you have to google what procreate means, then I’m talking about you in particular.

@That_Damn_Duck: How I wear a scarf:

1. Take scarf and drape it over my shoulder

2. Find an annoying co-worker and choke them to death with it.

3. Repeat

@That_Damn_Duck: My cat is walking a very fine line between being cute & being sold to the Korean restaurant down the street.

@That_Damn_Duck: *Watching YouTube videos*
Boss: What are you watching?
Me: ....
Boss: ...
Me: Church?
Boss: That's a dog on a unicycle.
Me: Praise The Lord!