@TheBeerGuy_

*uses a selfie stick to selfie with my new friends in the police lineup*

@TheBeerGuy_

Answer my phone? No thanks.

I’ve seen what happens to Liam Neeson.

@TheBeerGuy_

Nothing scarier than unlocking your phone in front of coworkers and not remembering what the last thing on your screen was.

@TheBeerGuy_

What idiot named it “proposing marriage” and not “engaging the enemy”?