Your Daily Dose Of Unadulterated Funny Tweets

@TheFunnyWorId

Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?

He pastaway.

Cannoli do so much.

Now hes just a pizza history.

@TheFunnyWorId

I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

@TheFunnyWorId

Wanna talk about Sodium?
Na

Nitric Oxide?
NO

Oxygen Magnesium Phosphorus Iodine Sulfur or Fluorine?
OMg PISS OFF

…Potassium?
K

@TheFunnyWorId

Why is peter pan always flying?

He neverlands.

I like this joke because it never grows old.