*Paper beats rock*
*Paper beats eggs*
*Paper beats his girlfriend*
*Paper beats his three year old*
Hickory dickory dock
I think that my soulmate’s a sockThe End
I can’t believe how different life was before
*googles*
Al Gore invented the Internet
If my ex had an autobiography it would be called “Mein Cramps”
What, did you NOT SEE that one coming?
What idiot called it the “number of Police Officers in the Precinct” and not the “Copulation”
I let a girl go through my phone recently so a colonoscopy really doesn’t scare me anymore
If she’s playing Wheel of Fortune, and has “_ONAL_ _UCK” left to win $8500, then she wants the D