@TheIronSherk

You really shouldn’t label sandwiches, I mean they have a right to exist in a world without labels and judgements just like everyone else.

@TheIronSherk

*Paper beats rock*
*Paper beats eggs*
*Paper beats his girlfriend*
*Paper beats his three year old*

@TheIronSherk

I can’t believe how different life was before

*googles*

Al Gore invented the Internet

@TheIronSherk

If my ex had an autobiography it would be called “Mein Cramps”

What, did you NOT SEE that one coming?

@TheIronSherk

The best part of a handshake is the knuckles. I dunno why, but the blender just brings out their richness and flavour

@TheIronSherk

*turns on deep-fryer*

*tosses in chicken nuggets*

*adds chamomile and lavender*

*recites from the Book of Shadows*

Voila, Wiccan Nuggets

@TheIronSherk

My girl has been eating a lot of Mexican fast food and gaining tons of weight lately, but I’ll never stop loving her

She’s my Taco Belle

@TheIronSherk

Learned today that it’s about 12 min after realizing there’s no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are