My uncle works for a company that makes bicycle wheels.
He’s the Spokesman.
“Dad, what’s a forklift?”
“Food, usually.”
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.
The plot thickens.
“What are your dogs’ names?”
Me: “Calvin and Klein.”
“Isn’t that a brand of underwear?”
Me: “Exactly, they’re boxers.”
What’s the different between Black Eyed Peas and Chick Peas?
Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song.
Chick Peas can hummus one.
Kudos to the person who invented denim pants.
They were a jeanious.
I told my doctor I have a problem with my left ear.
“Are you sure?”
I replied, “Yeah, I’m definite.”
Just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo
accident.They put me in the ICU.
The man who invented AutoCorrect walks into a barn.
He orders a bear.
I come from a family of failed magicians.
I have 2 half sisters
Doctor: your body has run out of magnesium
Me: 0mg
I woke up this morning with stir-fry all over my bed.
I was probably sleep-wokking again.
My car broke down between the marina and the Hallmark store.
Now, I’m stuck between a dock and a card place.
What will Tesla name their electric lawnmower?
E-Lawn
To the person who stole my place in the queue.
I’m after you now.