@TheRobCee: Sucks how parents can't name their son The Green River Killer since The Green River Killer went & ruined it for everyone.
@TheRobCee: Lost my job naming hurricanes after 3 ex-girlfriends called & complained. In hindsight, including their last names may have been a bad idea.
@TheRobCee: Before the invention of the hose, firefighters had to put fires out with their fists.
@TheRobCee: [labels account "18+"]
[tweets exclusively about voting & buying cigarettes legally]
@TheRobCee: In hell, your mouth is always freshly brushed & minty, and all they have to drink is orange juice.
@TheRobCee: Dog The Bounty Hunter's greatest weakness is getting distracted when the fugitive throws a tennis ball.
@TheRobCee: Michael Cera, in a public restroom, pinned to the opposite wall by the force of the hand-dryer.
@TheRobCee: "I need a car. What do you have?"
"Well, we have a Subaru Outback"
"But what kind of Subaru?"
"I don't CARE where you keep it..."