“A beast, you say. Have you tried stabbing it? I see. And your knives, are they steely? Hm. I’ll send someone up right away, sir.”
New Joker looks like he has the Memento disease and needs a bunch of tattoos to remind him he’s the Joker.
One nice thing about your 30s is people talk less about figuring themselves out and more about where the best sandwiches are.
Finally got the “Josh Duggar is good” neck tattoo I’ve wanted for years, now let me just read today’s news as I take a large sip of water…
Death row last meal? Starfish. Eat a leg, it grows back. Sit back and enjoy a long life eating starfish legs in an electric chair.
Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don’t even have a battery in my smoke detector, and fire is real.
Professor X gets a lot of credit as a progressive considering his solution to a race conflict was “give them their own school.”
Fun way to make someone question everything: comment “you are so brave” on all their selfies.
Before handing your wallet and wife’s necklace over to that angry gunman, pause to consider how sweet it would be if your son became Batman.
Kid, if you don’t know whether your Batman costume is pre or post reboot continuity, you don’t deserve candy. Also, Batman doesn’t cry.