Free will was a bad idea.
I should have charged for it.
I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.
Those who do not remember the past are doomed to lose on Jeopardy.
I giveth and I taketh away because I recycleth.
If you live in Tampa, evacuate. Your life is in danger.
If you live on Earth, evacuate. Your life is in danger.
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But a tooth is worth half an eye, so an eye for two teeth also works, if you’re low on eyes.
The sun is 100% solar-powered.
Free will was a mistake.
I should have charged for it.
To keep yourself healthy you should get 8 hours of sleep a day.
To keep the planet healthy you should get 24.
I’m trying to send the zombie apocalypse but the zombies say they’d rather starve.
I created you as mosquito food.
You’re either part of the problem or the entire problem.
The bad news: climate change threatens 1 in every 4 species with extinction.
The good news: you’re one of them.
Never let the fear of failure keep you from failing.
Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he’ll contribute to the global overdepletion of the ocean.
So give him a salad, maybe.