Shit, I missed Jesus’s birthday, didn’t I?
Jesus and Mary will occasionally appear on toast, or pancake, or waffles. Always breakfast foods. Why? Because it’s the most important meal.
Atheists are Popeless romantics.
One Mississippi… two Mississippi… just kidding! One Mississippi is quite enough.
.@rickygervais Ricky, if you can get Twitter to verify me, you will be the first atheist allowed into heaven.
THE TOP TEN WORDS OF 2012!!
1. End
2. Of
3. Year
4. Top
5. Ten
6. Lists
7. Are
8. Exercises
9. In
10. Stupidity
I believe meat is murder, vegetables are burglary, bread is mail fraud and dairy is impersonating a police officer.
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Santa.”
“Santa who?”
“Santa who has to use the door because you left your fireplace burning, jackass.”
The problem of guns in schools would be eliminated if society finally had the courage to outlaw schools.
Friday, Friday, all gonna die next Friday. Everybody’s gettin’ ready for the world’s end. Gotta make My mind up: Which souls should I take?