Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@TheTweetOfGod : Saving the planet will require sacrifice and right now I'm thinking you.
@TheTweetOfGod: Being wrong is most effective when done loudly.
@TheTweetOfGod: Happy birthday to William Shakespeare, who wrote good.
@TheTweetOfGod: I genuinely don't remember making you all this stupid.
@TheTweetOfGod: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose. Other symptoms of his alcoholism included violent rampages and chronic nausea.
@TheTweetOfGod: Yes, other people are stupid. But to everyone but you, you are one of those other people.
@TheTweetOfGod: 152,000 people will die today but not the one you want.
@TheTweetOfGod: 150 different species go extinct every single day. Even worse, you keep not being one of them.
@TheTweetOfGod: Never forget that for every public official who is stupid and awful, there are thousands of ordinary citizens who are also stupid and awful.
@TheTweetOfGod: The road to enlightenment always leads through the valley of morons.