@TheTweetOfGod

Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he’ll contribute to the global overdepletion of the ocean.
So give him a salad, maybe.

@TheTweetOfGod

White, black, brown, yellow, man, woman, transgender, gay, straight, Christian, Muslim, young, old, ALL of you will taste the same to the zombies.

@TheTweetOfGod

Saving the planet will require sacrifice and right now I’m thinking you.

@TheTweetOfGod

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose. Other symptoms of his alcoholism included violent rampages and chronic nausea.

@TheTweetOfGod

Yes, other people are stupid. But to everyone but you, you are one of those other people.