On one hand, eating meat is bad for your body, bad for animals and bad for the earth. On the other hand, bacon.
The Vatican just deleted all the Pope’s tweets. Because NO ONE denies reality like the Catholic Church.
The real reason David beat Goliath is that when David threw a rock, Goliath threw scissors.
Call Me crazy, but the ideal number of times a Pope should have once been a member of the Nazi Youth is zero.
“And thou shalt know those whom God has chosen for eternal salvation in the following manner: they shall retweet this.” Revelation 4:12.
Matthew 28, John 20. Luke 24, Mark 21. That means Matthew and Luke will meet in the finals.
Shit, I missed Jesus’s birthday, didn’t I?
Jesus and Mary will occasionally appear on toast, or pancake, or waffles. Always breakfast foods. Why? Because it’s the most important meal.
Atheists are Popeless romantics.
One Mississippi… two Mississippi… just kidding! One Mississippi is quite enough.
.@rickygervais Ricky, if you can get Twitter to verify me, you will be the first atheist allowed into heaven.
THE TOP TEN WORDS OF 2012!!
1. End
2. Of
3. Year
4. Top
5. Ten
6. Lists
7. Are
8. Exercises
9. In
10. Stupidity
I believe meat is murder, vegetables are burglary, bread is mail fraud and dairy is impersonating a police officer.
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Santa.”
“Santa who?”
“Santa who has to use the door because you left your fireplace burning, jackass.”
The problem of guns in schools would be eliminated if society finally had the courage to outlaw schools.