Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of The_Sculptress's best tweets

@The_Sculptress : I talk a lot of shit for someone who still uses their fingers to count.

@The_Sculptress: Always be yourself, unless you can be a giraffe. Then, be a giraffe.

@The_Sculptress: Every night when you sleep,I sneak into your house, full of desire.

I then reduce the amount of marshmallowy treats in your cereal&go home.

@The_Sculptress: I love you guys with all my ass. I would say heart, but my ass is bigger.

@The_Sculptress: The only double penetrating I'll ever do is eating the double stuff Oreo I just dropped into my coffee.

@The_Sculptress: Remember that time when you didn't call, & a giraffe round house kicked your neck, & you fell off a merry-go-round & died?nnSo sad. Really.

@The_Sculptress: If I see someone stumble, catch themselves, & madly start looking about to see if anyone saw, I always make sure I make direct eye contact.