@ThisLocalHater

Hate it when I try to make a snow angel and it turns out as a pentagram instead

@ThisLocalHater

It’s not a crime of arson so much as it’s a crime of passion but okay, judgy fire investigator guy

@ThisLocalHater

How do you tell someone that you want to set them on fire but like without hurting their feelings

@ThisLocalHater

But officer, that is my emotional support dismembered corpse in the trunk

@ThisLocalHater

Always the bridesmaid, never the cartoon pie luring you to a stranger’s windowsill with those little aroma lines

@ThisLocalHater

The most important part of dressing up like a clown and hiding in your friend’s crawlspace is to have fun and be yourself

@ThisLocalHater

Whatever, your kid should apologize to me for being so terrible at dodgeball

@ThisLocalHater

Hate it when I’m reading someone’s diary and they accuse me of having boundary issues

@ThisLocalHater

I bet this guy blaring Limp Bizkit can recommend a good defense attorney