@ThisLocalHater

Always the bridesmaid, never the terrifying mist that consumes the souls of the townspeople at random

@ThisLocalHater

I sleep with a Bible under my pillow in case anyone wants to break in and accept Jesus Christ as their lord and personal savior

@ThisLocalHater

Don’t forget to wash your hands before assaulting a senior citizen over a can of green beans today

@ThisLocalHater

Therapist: Your unhealthy attachment style is preventing you from developing normal relationships
Me: What do you mean, babe?