I’m not really feeling this edible.
*trying to order chinese food from starbucks*
[guy about to invent bowling]
let’s have some fun, but not too much
everything I know about british people was learned from watching Mr Bean and honestly I’ve seen enough
there are only 2 generations:
-America’s Funniest Home Videos
cute date idea: we go to home depot, you keep a lookout for security while I grab some of the plants they keep outside, we casually walk away with 2-7 new fruit trees
what’s even the ecological purpose of mosquitoes? to feed the birds ?? can’t we all just chip in like $5 each and buy a bunch of birdseeds from costco and cancel the mosquitoes ???
[after fight with bane]
batman: my back is broken
batman’s mom: it’s bc you’re on the computer too much
me: they’re having a retirement party for my coworker
my father, an immigrant: what’s a retirement party? you mean a funeral?
[before animals were invented]
plants: this is nice
me: can i buy animal crossing
mom: you can hang out with the raccoons in our garbage for free