@TommyRainmaker

[15:00]
I’m not really feeling this edible.

[15:30]
*trying to order chinese food from starbucks*

@TommyRainmaker

everything I know about british people was learned from watching Mr Bean and honestly I’ve seen enough

@TommyRainmaker

there are only 2 generations:

-America’s Funniest Home Videos

-Tik Toks

@TommyRainmaker

cute date idea: we go to home depot, you keep a lookout for security while I grab some of the plants they keep outside, we casually walk away with 2-7 new fruit trees

@TommyRainmaker

what’s even the ecological purpose of mosquitoes? to feed the birds ?? can’t we all just chip in like $5 each and buy a bunch of birdseeds from costco and cancel the mosquitoes ???

@TommyRainmaker

[after fight with bane]

batman: my back is broken

batman’s mom: it’s bc you’re on the computer too much

@TommyRainmaker

me: they’re having a retirement party for my coworker

my father, an immigrant: what’s a retirement party? you mean a funeral?

@TommyRainmaker

me: can i buy animal crossing

mom: you can hang out with the raccoons in our garbage for free