@Tryptofantastic

by milkshake she means trash and by boys she means raccoons and it’s a real problem in that neighborhood

@Tryptofantastic

People at work: you’re hilarious,man

Family: you’re really funny

Friends: you’re the funniest guy we know

Twitter: you’re occasionally witty, but don’t quit your day job

Wife: you’re an idiot. that’s not funny.