Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Twisted_Mettle's best tweets

@Twisted_Mettle : I thought landlady was the opposite of mermaid?

@Twisted_Mettle: "Let's get this show on the road."
~ Guy who invented parades

@Twisted_Mettle: RUN FOREST!!! RUN!!! But the trees just stood there. Frozen with fear. In the end, the flames consumed them all.

@Twisted_Mettle: Croutons and cherry tomatoes are the natural enemies of the plastic fork.