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@UnFitz : You're like a semicolon. I'm not sure exactly what to do with you.
@UnFitz: Wild horses could easily drag me away.
In fact, a pair of determined guinea pigs could probably give me a run for my money.
@UnFitz: Fact: A childless person coined the phrase "Sleep like a baby."
@UnFitz: "The Godfather" teaches us that:
1. Nothing is more important than family and
2. Our families are always trying to kill us.
@UnFitz: [speed dating]
Me: Do they go inside the quotation mark or outside?
Her: In the US or the UK?
Me: Let's get married.
@UnFitz: Her: For once I'd like a man to just sweep me off my feet.
Me: *slowly ties Karate Kid headband around forehead*
@UnFitz: "You're just not my cup of tea" I say to someone else's cup of tea.
@UnFitz: 17: If I was gay would you still love me?
Me: Of course.
17: If I committed crimes?
17: If I voted for Trump-
Me: Dead to me.
@UnFitz: Her: Stop being absurd. Just be yourself.
Me: Make up your mind.
We run in slow motion toward each other across an open field.
Her side is mined.