“Why is your name listed first?”
“We’ve discussed this.”
“Explain it to me one more time.”
“They’re alphabetical.”
there is no greater joy than helping to make a friend’s dream come true
thanks for ruining it for the rest of us, stacey
her: so, what should i do now?
doctor: inform your partner
her: i don’t know if i can face him
doctor: you can write him a note
her: that’s a great idea!
dog: *snickers*
priest: *sighs*
dude it’s called proctologist
“Who’s the new guy?”
“We’ll explain later.”
“But-“
“Just look at the camera, Steve.”
grandpa said he didn’t want a fuss
The Burt Reynolds in me says go for it, but the Wile E. Coyote in me knows how it’ll end.
respect
“Keep pouring, Ann. You’re not gonna BELIEVE what your dog did today.”
“Square up your hips.”
“Alright.”
“Your elbows need to come up.”
“Is all this really necessary?”
“Have you seen the news?”
“No.”
“They’re coming for us, Sid.”
“Okay Benjamin, now I need you to go outside, point your nose up at the sky, and slowly start turning around. I’ll yell when I get a good signal.”
Although this might seem a bit pricey at first, please keep in mind that it takes approximately two dozen mice to make one pound, which comes out to only about nineteen cents per mouse.
i think both sides are to blame here
