Eating fruit loops out of a plastic baggy on the train and nodding at a baby doing the same thing.
You probably can’t even pick your own skeleton out of a lineup.
Don’t even wrap my subway sandwich up, I’m wearing it out of the store.
Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.
Sugar in the bloodstream, I’m the world’s problem now.
Angry like someone who’s gone three straight spoonfuls of raisin bran without getting a raisin.
christening a ship with an overripe banana
These teenagers down at the skate park will boost my self-esteem.
When I’m eating shared nachos I’m always thinking 3 nacho moves ahead of my opponent.
I open my wallet and an accordion of pictures fall out but they’re all of me holding loaves of bread like a fish I caught.
You can also leave cabbage rolls you couldn’t finish at any fire station. Anything swaddled really.
The bakery used a white paper bag instead of a brown one like they knew these croissants are prescription.
I’m not much of a wrestler, can this alligator play badminton?
I was supposed to be abducted in ‘03 but my chain wallet got caught on a fire hydrant and they beamed up the squirrel I was feeding instead. God speed tiny ambassador of earth.
[seeing a gumball machine full of bees]
give me a quarter