*replies to everyone’s subtweets
“I love you too baby”
tried to blow dust off my phone and spat all over it
so yeah, i’m adorable
Russian roulette, except it’s me sneezing three times in a row while driving
I’ll never be arm candy. I’m 50,
best I can be is an arm sandwich
*Seductively hides in the woods
I triple waxed for this?
*turns my phone upside down like a tip and strip pen*
Everyone naked?
My daughter just found the dog leash and collar
Which would be less awkward to explain if we actually had a dog
My youngest daughter is blowing relentlessly on a recorder
So you can understand what level of stabby I am right now
I am ‘being spanked and told to nap is punishment’ years old
*winks*
Apparently granny panties and crocs was not the answer he was looking for when he messaged ‘baby what are you wearing?’
This is now a ‘I have washed my hands’ emoji 🙌