Funny Tweeter

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Page of VodkaShorebird's best tweets

@VodkaShorebird : A good way to help you determine who to weed out of your life is probably by how someone pronounces "coyote".

@VodkaShorebird: I'm with you, Hungry Hungry Hippos. I don't find small plastic balls very filling, either. I can't believe this what you guys eat in Africa!

@VodkaShorebird: The Dalai Lama and Gandhi aren't the same? I thought they were basically Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. I feel like people are messing with me.

@VodkaShorebird: "You know what people really want to see? Season after season of a guy drinking his own piss." - Discovery Channel executive

@VodkaShorebird: GUY 1: Why can’t we skip rope without society judging us?

GUY 2: What if we occasionally beat the crap out of each other?

Boxing is born.

@VodkaShorebird: Just think, there is coming an entire generation of idiots who will wonder: "Why did they have a hashtag button on landline phones?"