@VodkaShorebird

I’m with you, Hungry Hungry Hippos. I don’t find small plastic balls very filling, either. I can’t believe this what you guys eat in Africa!

@VodkaShorebird

The Dalai Lama and Gandhi aren’t the same? I thought they were basically Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. I feel like people are messing with me.

@VodkaShorebird

“You know what people really want to see? Season after season of a guy drinking his own piss.” – Discovery Channel executive

@VodkaShorebird

GUY 1: Why can’t we skip rope without society judging us?

GUY 2: What if we occasionally beat the crap out of each other?

Boxing is born.

@VodkaShorebird

Just think, there is coming an entire generation of idiots who will wonder: “Why did they have a hashtag button on landline phones?”