Dinosaurs could be a lot prettier if we’d all just admit they had feathers. I mean they would still eat you, but they would do it prettily.
U just HAD to be polite & hold the elevator for me. I could have had a nice, quiet ride alone. Instead, I had to be polite & talk about fall
My bunny thumps at trash collectors. Nice to know that if the Sanitation Dept. ever has ill intentions, she won’t stand for any of that shit
Next wedding Im saying its a open bar but when u get there its going to be cash.Just b/c its a 3rd wedding doesnt mean u can skip it slacker
I got an email from Olga. She thinks I’m sweet & “longs for finding a special person for serious relations”. So there’s always that.
First year my husband didn’t give me some sort of sweet on our anniversary. I got roses. He thinks I’m fat. I know it.
I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT ANYTHING. YOU ARE EVIL. I don’t want to go in the swing!! NOOOOooooo…. okay. yeah. This works. I’ll hang here. – Baby
Gave up on my dream of being a murderer a long time ago. I leave long hair everywhere & everyone knows its mine without doing a DNA test.
Just sang & made up multiple lyrics w/ actions to “If you’re happy & u know it” for thirty minutes… In case u need help writing that novel
Once Prince dies there will be some freaky shit that comes out like he ate only butterflies or bathed in babies or something. Mark.My.Words.