If “six degrees” is true, somebody tell somebody to tell somebody to tell somebody to tell somebody to tell Scarlett Johansson I said “Hi.”
Was going to rob a bank today, but the pen was chained to the desk.
Shutdown Apocalypse Update: Talked to someone today about remaining human when society crumbles. Was told to “please pull up to the window.”
Shutdown Apocalypse Update: Hearing now that the government closed the Grand Canyon. Not sure if they roll a tarp over it or how that works.
I have to wonder why we have “non-essential” government employees in the first place.
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
I spend an awful lot of time picking the most desirable potato chips out of the bag for someone who’s going to eat them all anyway.
Replaced my shoelaces with ear buds and now they tie themselves.
By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I’ve likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.
Of all the martial arts, karaoke inflicts the most pain.