god: now to create a universe for man, my most beloved creation
lucifer: what if u make like 99.999% of it kill them instantly
god: lol ok
I always assumed the movie “Grease” got its title from how those characters managed to fit into those pants.
*Dino-Jesus preaching to the dinosaurs*
“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
*Asteroid crushes Earth*
“Dammit Dad.”
Like a good neighbor
State Farm and I haven’t ever spoken.
Ways to get ants out of your house:
1) Ant traps
2) Say you had a good time but it’s late & you have work tomorrow
3) Set house on fire