If the object of having a few drinks is to ” Take the edge off”, then I’m Spherical
I have a very defined ab.
That’s not a typo, I only have a single ab
“If I act like I’m asleep he’ll leave, If I act like I’m asleep he’ll leave, if I act like I’m asleep he’ll leave” – Me getting pulled over
If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a loser
” Let me be perfectly clear” – My Aquarium
When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?
If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
My wife just sent me a text ” I just bought you the best Christmas present! xox :)” …..I hope she misspelled Xbox
As if ” cray cray” wasn’t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to ” cray”….that’s just stu stu
How frustrating would it be if you turned into a zombie before you had a chance to put your dentures in?