@Xalqee: "If I act like I'm asleep he'll leave, If I act like I'm asleep he'll leave, if I act like I'm asleep he'll leave" - Me getting pulled over
@Xalqee: When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?
@Xalqee: If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
@Xalqee: My wife just sent me a text " I just bought you the best Christmas present! xox :)" .....I hope she misspelled Xbox
@Xalqee: As if " cray cray" wasn't irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that's just stu stu