@Xtina_Crawford

We have received 4 Christmas cards this week. I’m glad to see so many others don’t have their shit together either.

@Xtina_Crawford

I’d like to assure my concerned neighbors that although I have slowly driven by your house 97 times in the last 20 mins, I am not, in fact, a predator or a stalker. I am waiting for my insomniac toddler to fall asleep.

@Xtina_Crawford

6: I say “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am” to my teacher

Me: You sure didn’t learn those great manners from me. Where’d you learn that?

6: Chick-fil-A