Funny Tweeter

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Page of YourMomsucksTho's best tweets

@YourMomsucksTho : My husband is taking me to a scenic bridge today so i guess this is goodbye

@YourMomsucksTho: My husband always knows I got my period by how I wear white dresses and twirl in fields, then swing for hours and hours while laughing.

@YourMomsucksTho: I didn't watch the video you sent I just waited 3 minutes then wrote hahaha

@YourMomsucksTho: Is it really too much to ask for a pregnancy test commercial where the lady sees the two lines and starts laugh crying and the guy shits his pants?

@YourMomsucksTho: Marriage is fun because i asked my husband to please fix the sink and he started talking about how he should add a floor over the living room because it's wasted space, then watched DIY on house flipping and said he could do that, then took a nap and the sink is still broken.

@YourMomsucksTho: Kids now are so spoiled. When I was young we were locked out of the house all day if school was canceled because of snow, we went blind in one eye, lost 2-4 toes to frostbite, ate one of the weaker kids who got hurt sledding, then had a leg amputated, and we WERE FINE.

@YourMomsucksTho: Welcome to your 40's you are 15-20lbs overweight no matter what and sweat constantly. You irritate anyone under 30, and have 5 years max left before your phone completely confuses you.

@YourMomsucksTho: How do I tell my husband I only like him as a friend without it getting weird

@YourMomsucksTho: I can tell you from experience that the "fake it till you make it" saying is true for most things in life, just not flying a helicopter.

@YourMomsucksTho: My husband keeps texting me he loves me and that i'm hot, what a weirdo like calm down pal, we're married