Pigs eating pork is called hammibalism.
Whichever absolute idiot invented jobs should be fired.
If bars don’t open soon, I’m gonna have to figure out other plans to cancel with my friends.
20 years of House Hunters and Hugh Laurie is still alive and kicking. Thank god they don’t seem to be very good at it.
Me: Time for sleep.
Brain: Finish this episode.
Me: Ok, but then I’m going to sleep.
Brain: Check Twitter.
Me: Fine, but that’s it. I’m going to sleep now.
Brain: Why didn’t you ever ask out Anna in 9th grade? Imagine how different your life could be.
Me: I’ll make coffee.
paint by numbers implies the existence of paint by leviticus and paint by deuteronomy