@_stylr

Whichever absolute idiot invented jobs should be fired.

@_stylr

If bars don’t open soon, I’m gonna have to figure out other plans to cancel with my friends.

@_stylr

20 years of House Hunters and Hugh Laurie is still alive and kicking. Thank god they don’t seem to be very good at it.

@_stylr

Me: Time for sleep.
Brain: Finish this episode.
Me: Ok, but then I’m going to sleep.
Brain: Check Twitter.
Me: Fine, but that’s it. I’m going to sleep now.
Brain: Why didn’t you ever ask out Anna in 9th grade? Imagine how different your life could be.
Me: I’ll make coffee.

@_stylr

paint by numbers implies the existence of paint by leviticus and paint by deuteronomy