Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients
Me: Look, I really stuck my neck out for you and-
Vampire: wow
Me: Right off the bat you- No, I’m just saying it bites, I mean it sucks when-
Vampire: WOW
[first day working at a bakery]
Customer: can I get a-
Me (brushing crumbs from my mouth): we’re out