@a_simpl_man

We had 3 kids, but once TVs came w/ remotes we put them up for adoption

@a_simpl_man

At first I felt loved when the wife called me a trophy until I saw her google taxidermist

@a_simpl_man

*me carrying in all of the groceries

Wife: I feel bad, I don’t have anything
Me: You always have me
Wife: See what I’m saying