why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra long bathroom break and steal company time instead
realizing i have to deal with the consequences of my actions
Never know who you’ll run into at the gas station!
adulthood means trying to convince yourself the font is just too small and it isn’t your eyesight going bad
what i say: i love you, be back in two minutes
what my dog hears: goodbye forever
oh you like road-trips? name every road then
I want what they have
I’m not exaggerating when I say if I ever clogged a toilet at work I would immediately quit, change my name, and move to a different city
Childbirth is so beautiful
why doesn’t every store have a lost spouse aisle??
the sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time
cat people: dogs are fine
dog people: cats are sent from the devil
inflation so bad the sorting hat had to get another job
sure sex is great but have you ever had someone appreciate your music recommendations
wtf management?!
