My dog learned how to text
WebMD on April Fools: You’re fine
just got robbed by a bunch of girl scouts, well i wasn’t robbed but they did take all my money
going to the doctor for the first time since becoming a doctor, can’t wait to say “ah yes i concur with your diagnosis”
hackers play passwordle
Just pretended to not know what a Cheeto was to get an extra sample at Costco
are they though??
no such thing as a dumb question
IT’S NOT A PHASE, DAD
My parents kept me humble from a young age by sarcastically asking “How do you think you’re paying for that, with your good looks?”
new career option?
me: be gentle, it’s been a while for me
turbo tax advisor:
what kind of cook setting is this??
if y’all catch me barking while my dog is sleeping, mind your business i’m teaching her a lesson
My New Years resolution is to be more of an enabler, like yes girl text your ex