[making out in a club]
her: wanna go to the bathroom?
me: no I’ve just been thanks
me: how often should I water it?
florist: you’ll just know
me: I absolutely will not
For somebody who ate their twin in utero I sure am a fussy eater
My friend told me he weighs himself before and after going to the toilet to see how much his shit weighs and honestly that’s so much better than my method