First date
Me: when you said you were a WWF fanatic, I thought you meant Words with FriendsHim:(in tights) YOU’RE GOING DOWN *flips table*
Since it’s hunting season, we are allowed to shoot the cars with the antlers on them, right?
@funTweeters thanks so much!! 馃槝
I hate it when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not even an actor.
Just donated blood. I hope whoever gets it likes wine.
Listen to your instincts. Your gut is always right. It may be a little bloated sometimes…but it’s right.
*feeds you Cheetos while running my fingers through your hair*
Highway to Hell is my favorite wedding song.
Dating is like a 2-day-old box of chocolates.
The good ones are already taken.
No thanks, 28 yr old hitting on me at the bar… With our age difference, I wouldn’t be a cougar… more like a saber-toothed tiger.
English, if I ran it:
A group of geese is called a “group”
A group of buffalo is called a “group”
A group of catfish is called a “group”
I pledged to pick up 10 pieces of trash on Tuesday. So, I’m going to Walmart to see if anyone needs a ride.
*adds humanitarian to resume