Who called it Thanksgiving and not the Nightmare before Christmas?
If Dracula were on Grindr, he would be looking for a guy with a blood sausage.
A relationship should be 50/50.
50% man
50% bear
50% pig
Me: I love eating nerds
Boy: (brings me Nerds candy)
Me: no, not that kind.
Apple is releasing new product information today.
That explains why yesterday my husband said that his watch isn’t staying charged anymore.
Just a reminder your kids will be left to clean out your belongings when you die and will find ‘the bedroom drawer’.
My laptop is like my sex life, the data is corrupted.
I have 3 kids and often wonder what their future holds.
10: will be a teacher
5: a doctor
3: a dictator – just not sure which country she will take over yet. So many choices, but I’m thinking Canada because they are so polite and she is scary AF.