@amazymay72x: Husband: I'll unload the dishwasher for you, honey.
Me: No rush.
3 days later.......regrets saying no rush.
@amazymay72x: sure mugger, run away with my purse holding half used lipstick, 1 tampon, maxed out credit cards n negative bank card.
whos laughing now?
@amazymay72x: Me: Cleaning the basement.
12yo boy: Let me know if u need help.
13yo girl: Let me know when you're done.
Yep...throwing out HER crap.
@amazymay72x: Me: Will you-
Me: Can you-
Me: Are you-
Hubs: Oh no
Me: Oh hell no.....
Communication is important.
@amazymay72x: My 12yo son's protip:
Buy larger sized clothes and you'll look like you lost weight. You're welcome.
@amazymay72x: You know what else is fun? Playing dead when your husband receives the credit card bill...
@amazymay72x: 13yo: Mom, I need 3 current issues happening in the neighborhood.
Me: How abo-
11yo: WEAK WIFI, BUFFERING, BAD DATA PLAN!
..shoot me now.
@amazymay72x: Weed doesn't give me an attitude when I forget to pay the electric bill...
I love you, weed.
@amazymay72x: Once again, overheard my 13yo tell someone that I was born in the 1900s.
Now I want to hide under the covers and stab all her teddy bears.