My rabbits are hot and they aren’t happy about it. I’ve got hot cross buns.
I’ll see myself out.
Hey, do you guys remember when people kept those little wax paper cups in the bathroom so that when you were thirsty you could have a little toilet water?
I got so excited about my new pill box that now Alexa won’t stop suggesting assisted living facilities.
I keep having this dream about a guy I chopped up and put in my freezer. I always have to try and hide it when I get a new roommate. The roommate part is really starting to freak me out.
I just sneezed and even my dog looked worried.
The UPS driver beat on my door so loudly that it sounded like the cops. Calm down, dude, it’s just my cat food.
My spirit animal took one look at me and went back to the spirit world.
I’m my own family, I say as I plow through the family-size bag of barbecue chips.