ROLLERCOASTER ATTENDANT: Please remain seated in the cars. No standing.
ME (already decapitated):
man: I’d like to return the boomerang I bought here.
customer service: do you have the boomerang?
man: no, that’s the whole problem
COP: Is this man bothering you, Sir?
ME: that’s my wife
WEDDING SUPERSTITION: It is bad luck to get married.
Though I hear their
Helpless cries
I eat
FRIENDLY REMINDER: Frankenberry is not the cereal. He’s the guy who CREATED the cereal. The cereal is his monster.
It’s 2018, and Benjamin Button is still writing 2019 on his checks.
7 A.M.: I will only eat the wholesome low-calorie whole grain cereal with skim milk.
MIDNIGHT: Where are the chocolates? I must have more chocolates!