Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@andylassner : My 11-year-old son hanging out with a group of his friends yells down, “Hey dad! What year did you get sober?”
@andylassner: I said "no" to a lot of things this year without giving them a chance.
In 2016 I plan on saying "maybe" more and then changing it to "no".
@andylassner: At least once a day I say "nice to meet you" to someone I've already met which is a great feeling for all involved.
@andylassner: "I haven't accomplished much but I will harshly judge the hard work of others"
@andylassner: iPhone 6: For people who don't mind holding an iPad up to their ear.
@andylassner: If The Lego Movie is about anything other than parents walking around and cursing after stepping on Legos, it's not based on a true story.
@andylassner: A Morning After pill but for over eating.
@andylassner: Don't hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook.
@andylassner: The Samsung Galaxy is a cool phone if you don't mind carrying around a 42" screen.
@andylassner: I'm always sad when I see a homeless person or someone with a Blackberry.