I hereby declare this fall as The Fall of B!
Oh wait.
I wish I could say it was the first time I’ve hidden in a dumpster.
I warned you I would betray you over potatoes, this is on you.
I just smiled to everyone I invited over to watch football as I turned it off and started the puppet show.
Wait….making the right choices is an option?!
I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.
I put the I in Insufferable.
A date sounds nice but you’ll need to bring a friend for my parole officer.
Can’t, The Thundercats need me.
Stop right there babe, you need permission to enter the pillow fort.
As the argument over the best way to dispose of a body escalated, I realized the date was going well.
I didn’t even know there was a most alcohol consumed award on a cruise ship.
Look lady, you’ve already taken my money so put that Oompa Loompa costume on and let’s do this.
I make sure I throw any vegetables offered to me across the room to make a point.
Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.