Look lady, you’ve already taken my money so put that Oompa Loompa costume on and let’s do this.
I make sure I throw any vegetables offered to me across the room to make a point.
Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.
I did win the cartwheel contest but the other people at the funeral seemed upset.
I only came because I was told we would be playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.
This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on, I’m going to say something.
Oh no, I’m taking the entire package of snacks with me when I go back to the couch.
I hate to brag but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.
I’m going to need a list of snacks that will be there before I show up.
I’ve grown more powerful but in a completely useless way.
Yes I did run that bus full of children off the road but I was late for my LARPING championship.
Yes I’m doing it wrong but I’m doing it wrong in the right way.
My love language is hissing.
As everyone is watching in horror what I did to that pinata, I realized that’s not how you’re supposed to get to the candy.
Shhh, turn out the lights and hide. My feelings are knocking on the door.