The room quiets as you pick up a pen. You are left-handed and perhaps the first one they’ve ever seen in the wild.
Mother of God, the man solved unsolvable crimes for eight straight seasons. When he says he has a hunch, believe him the first time.
Tour guides often say to me “that’s a great question,” but I like to dig deeper. What was the wow factor? Let’s spend some time on this.
You and what army? That should be your first question to the HOA.
Hates everyone who has a cooler birthstone than mine.
You missed Mass online, which isn’t great, but you can watch Ben Hur now for partial credit.
If the horse track doesn’t open back up soon, I’m gonna lose the only math I remember.
When my middle school English teacher didn’t know the word “anecdote,” it became my first successful field test of discretion vs. valor.
These birds at my feeder. None of them have a plan.
You can totally mistake a slipper for a cat when you don’t have your glasses on. Even after you pet it, you can’t be sure.
Are you a guest? No, you aren’t. You live here. *takes away napkin and hands you a paper towel*
You travel 3500 miles to the breathtaking 15th-century mountaintop Inca citadel, Machu Picchu. The gift shop is not great.
Not fat, but not super thin either. I’m more like…what’s the word? Oh, I know. Terrifying.
The card you sent said “Peace on Earth” but the glitter on my hand says you have made a powerful enemy.
[poking you repeatedly in the shoulder] I’ll keep this up until you acknowledge me. I’ve got nowhere else to be.