Stood up by two different men, two days in a row… what’s a girl gotta do to get a quote on a new roof these days.
Just got back from seeing my naturopath and she suggested a treatment plan that involves improved diet and exercise.
The nerve of some health experts.
The first thing I’m going to do when my kids move into homes of their own is machine gun fire toothpaste spit all over the faucet and mirror in the bathroom.
I keep getting super sexy tweets with pictures of beautiful women in my “for you” list and I’m starting to wonder if Twitter knows something about my sexuality that I don’t.
I need to stay off WebMD. Every time I look something up, I’m like, “Oh look. I’m dead already.”
I don’t get angry at my husband when he annoys me. I just drink his favourite Scotch.
Yesterday I went to the grocery store and I managed to come home without any junk food.
Now I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.
I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch anytime I exercise.
On my flight to Montreal, the 20 something sitting next to me passed on her in flight snacks. I don’t understand this generation.