I found a doctor online and I was happy because I could sign up for an appointment without contacting anybody. Since 3:15pm yesterday, I have received 13 contacts from them for today’s appointment.
I just got lied to by 3557 people. That recipe was awful.
I’m getting into the smashed penny business. I stand near the machine and sell parents 2 quarters and a penny for 5 dollars.
Have you ever been driving in a different state and then you see a yellow road sign with like squiggles and an incline and you don’t even know what it means but you just know you don’t wanna have to do that?
If there’s power banjo and a mandolin in the song, you get to drive five miles over the speed limit in business areas.
A couple I know went hiking for their 25th anniversary which sounded shady to me.
I saw a lady run for the train today and I had to suppress my Olympic viewing tendency to cheer for her.
I have a box of thirdhand rice. My daughter’s friend bought it, but then he moved out of his apartment so he gave it to her because it wasn’t opened. Now she’s moving out of her apartment so she gave it to me because it wasn’t opened. I’m not really sure how I feel about it.
If you are talking on the phone at the grocery store and it is interesting, then I get to follow you and we will shop together.
I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.
I am at my most pretend homemaker when I have a repair person in the house. Who me? Oh I’m just gonna sit here and handsew the trim back on this pillow and when I’m finished with that I’m going to sort my dried flowers for two hours.
Opened closet in hotel to check for murderers while simultaneously realizing I was unprepared should one be in there.
At the dmv waiting outside for my daughter to fill out paperwork. I’m remembering when I was 16 and my dad backed the car into the spot so I could just pull forward with the test guy. It worked! And 35 years later, I still can’t back out very well.
I accidentally wore a beetle inside. Neither party was happy about this.
Every escape room should have a planted person that makes hotter/colder faces when somebody has an idea.