Interviewer: can you tell me about a time when you succeeded?
Me: (nods and looks out the window contemplatively) no
Sure Italian food is expensive but I think it’s worth every penne
ME: whats our policy on dogs in the office
BOSS: no dogs
ME: [about to hand over my dog’s resume but I pull it back just in time] haha duh
god: call them deer
angel: ok. what do they look like
god: eh pretty normal
angel: ok
god: [suddenly] put a tree on its face