Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.
I will disappear on you at a party and show up 3 hours later with bruises, no phone and a goat.
Let’s make “door pants” a thing. Those pants you leave by your front door so when delivery people knock on your door you have easy access.
When I die and eventually go to Hell I’m going to flirt with the Devil like “So, did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?”