If you’re trying to impress me with your vehicle it better be a food truck.
I moved the karaoke machine from under my bed to the kitchen so I can sing along when cooking. It scares the dog and drives my daughter crazy so I’d say it’s a big hit.
Just realized that the baby is almost 20 years old so it’s probably time I stop saying I need to lose the baby weight.
The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.
If your neighbor has wind chimes, you have wind chimes.
I just got a text from an ex telling me he wanted to “reach out.” This isn’t a work email buddy.
My kids: what are we having for…
ME: LEFTOVERS
Parenting teenagers is easy since they already know everything.