You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.
Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.
I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.
Wanna run through the forest, while I chase you with a flamethrower?
I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.
Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.
Them: If you say more one thing you’re going to die.
Me: And another thing…
Kinda rude my neighbours live next to me.
Me, being boiled into a soup: This is nice.
I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.
I’m still upset that my parents didn’t support my dream of becoming an assassin.
The best way to express your disagreement is by slapping people with a fish.
Every day can be sparkly if you stick a fork into a socket.
It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is to be launched into space.
Me, taking my clothes off at a crematorium: So, where’s the sauna?