If you disagree with someone, just slap them with a fish.
I’d use my best pan on you.
Don’t you just hate it when you order a book called “Cooking with children” and none of the recipes involves them as an ingredient?
It’s like you don’t appreciate this bag of toenails and I can’t deal with this right now.
Me: I don’t want to hear it, I want to feel it!
Also me: Not like that!
[being murdered]
Me: You’re going to somehow ruin this, aren’t you?
It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a portal to another dimension.
Genie: If you say another word, your going to die.
Me: ʸᵒᵘ’ʳᵉ
Always a bridesmaid, never a body at the bottom of a lake